Williamsburg Slasher Slayed By Local Kickball Nerds

The man who has been assaulting girls in Williamsburg attempted an attack on what appeared to be an unsuspecting young woman last night at 8pm. The young woman turned out to be 24 year old Jimbo Fenner, a member of the team Killa Killa Mo' Killin Killin Fo' Killa Killa, who turned around and breathed fire into the attacker's face. His head was later found skilleted on a stick in McCarren Park and used as an intimidation device against less awesome teams. Pictured above is a mob of angry adult kickball players turned vigilantes.

Not really, but the crime that's going down in Williamsburg is nothing short of fucked up.