Nine is fine.

The fact that two respectable cinephiles - Eric and Jon - have positioned Ratatouille at the tops of their lists just goes to show you how 2007 will go down as one of the worst years for cinema in a pretty long time.

2007 has been scarred by esoterica-oriented critics gushing over their discovery of the mainstream, perhaps because they have been repulsed from the avant garde from this year's truly great film, "I'm Not There."

Ratatouille is, was, and forever will be diminished by the great mice of popular culture: Mickey, Maus, and Feivel from An American Tale.

In Ratatouille audiences were served a plotless and for the most part joyless parody of many illustrated or animated classics, and a diluted "persecuted pack" narrative. The irredeemable script avoided any sense of danger or risk to our protagonist. He had no depth. By comparison, the critic, whose arc from cold-blooded foodie to spirited restaurateur, was the only likeable and authentic character in the film.

I guess this film will continue to be praised by film critics who have through time immemorial sought a film in which a critic would be portrayed in such a kind way.

Now that my screed is over, I wanted to share with you a quote from the venerable screenwriter William Goldman:

"Most critics don't go in with an open mind. The Village Voice listed their Ten Best Films of All Time, right? It's so screamingly funny that you wouldn't believe it! Their pick of the greatest film of all time is Vertigo. Well, you have to understand what that means. In the first place, it means that they don't care about acting, because no film in which the female lead is Kim Novak can possibly be the greatest film of all time. OK. That's thing one. Thing two, Hitchcock is demigod in their pantheon. If you're an auterist reviewer like all those people are on teh Voice, Hitchcock is this giant. Well, you can't pick Psycho, you see, because lots of people pick Psycho. And the Orson Welles movie they pick - they don't pick Citizen Kane, they pick Ambersons, because everybody knows Citizen Kane is good. So look at the Voice's list of the greatest movies of all time, and you know they had their minds made up. It has nothing to do with any kind of honesty.

And finally, my one rule about top ten lists: there is no such thing as a fucking tie. I'm sorry, Metacritic.com.

So here's my list:

1. I'm Not There
2. No Country for Old Men
3. Margot at the Wedding
4. Superbad
5. Juno
6. The Bourne Ultimatum
7. There Will Be Blood (although I will give DDL best actor of the year)
8. Hot Fuzz
9. Knocked Up