GUNS! STABBINGS! EXPLOSIONS! NIC CAGE! (pt deux)

Our love of Nic Cage is historic.
Epic in scope.
Deep in depth.

We once chronicled an action movie marathon and posted the results of that day. Yet there was one stat that never sat right with us:

nic cages: 0

So tropical storms were braved.
Scores were tallied.^
And an instant-classic-remade-from-a-less-than-decade-old-Thai-classic was born.

We present to you the statistics from Bangkok Dangerous:

KILLS: 42-47*
EXPLOSIONS: 5
STABBINGS: 3
FANCY GUNPLAY: 2
DISMEMBERINGS: 2
GLASS BREAKING: 8
FAST-FORWARDS: 8
SLO-MO’S: 19
360 SHOTS: 4
NICOLAS CAGE LEERING AT MALES: 5
NICOLAS CAGE LEERING AT FEMALES: I counted up to 20 then gave up (mainly due to cage’s love interest being mute)
RIDICULOUS & INAPPROPRIATE MAKING OUT: none
INTERNATIONAL LOCALES: 4
EATING WHILE CONDUCTING “BAD MAN” BUSINESS: 4
ELEPHANTS: 3
ASSASSINATION-SUICIDES: 1
METACRITIC RATING: 19

^ notes on methodology: Kills were sharpied on my shirt while Miguel diligently moleskine'd detailed notes.
* Kill counts are discrepant as Miguel got 42 and I got 47, which included a few kills tallied during a quick flashback of previously unmentioned kills and a final mark for the deaf-Thai-pharmacist love story which killed my heart (in a good way).

Synergy!: Miguel's Tumblr and the Playlist via Alex

"Again!...Again!....Again!....Again!..... Again!.... That was your first lesson."