Kicking & Screaming (Will Ferrell Version): YouTube and the World Cup in Perfect Harmony

As you may have gathered from previous posts, the staff of Cosmodrome has been whipped into a World Cup frenzy over the last few weeks. And this is despite the fact that our knowledge of soccer is pretty minimal for people who have watched (or at least read a live blog of) nearly every match so far. Including the ads.

So of course, I've been consulting with my friends and Wikipedia and beyond to extrapolate whatever I can from my meager knowledge to date. As it turns out, I once played this game - for something like 8 years! In fact, thousands (millions?) [Editor's note - our interns blow, and couldn't find the statistic.] of kids in the United States play the game every year. Will Ferrell even made a movie about this phenomenon, or at least something related to the phenomenon (I've only seen segments of the film when accidentally thinking it's this movie).

Alas, I digress. The best "find", and the one most worth sharing is that all of soccer's history (or most of it) has been saved on YouTube & Wikipedia. Below, you'll find video for all 10 goals selected in FIFA's poll to decide the greatest World Cup goal ever, and a couple of selections from yours truly. Enjoy it, and send us more video of your favorite goals, because you can critique FIFA's selections as much as you want, but considering it came out four years ago, only Cosmdrome will actually listen to what you have to say. ...Get the Videos...

10. 1990: Enzo Scifo of Belgium scores from WAY out against URuGuAY.

9. 1990: Lothar Matthäus in a matchup of two countries that no longer exist: West Germany v. Yugoslavia
For some reason, the internet held back on this goal. Couldn't find it anywhere. [Editor's note: if you have the means of helping out our inept staff, please send it over.] However, YouTube did offer it up as part of some sort of greatest goals list from Japanese television. [Editor's note: View with volume at high level for full experience.]

8. 1970: Alberto Carlos of Brazil against the Italians.
This one is my personal favorite - if not for the brilliant play, but for the decision of some genius out there in YouTube land to score this with some samba.

7. 1990: The Italian mullet-master Robert Baggio versus Czechoslovakia
This is the last of the goals on the list featuring a defunct nation, and also features the kind of orgasmic commentating missing in American soccer. Oh yes... oh yes.... oh yes!

For more on the orgasmic nature of goal-scoring, see Trainspotting for the memorable line: "Phew! I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978!"

6. 1994: Saeed Owairan of Saudi Arabia against Belgium
RFK would have been proud to see a Saudi score a goal like this in his stadium.

5. 1994: Gheorghe (not Muresan) Hagi against Colombia
My God, the Colombians suffered that year. If you'll recall they were also stunned by the US in a match that led to the death of a player who scored an own-goal.

4. 1986: Diego Maradona against Belgium
If you like this, you'll also like this feature, which has a photo of Maradona that makes it clear he is now, or once was, a woman.

3. 1958: Pele versus Sweden
Watch how the grainy black-and-white + the mud on the field makes it look like the Swedish goalie has been killed and is lying in a pool of his own blood. Really, just awesome stuff here.

2. 1998: An 18 year-old Englishman named Michael Owen does his thing (off a pass from Becks) against Argentina
Pretty cool, but I can't help but think there is some serious ballot-stuffing if this ranks number two on the list.

1. 1986: Maradona, again, this time against England
Maradona's first goal in the match caught even more press. I guess there was something involving a hand. That last sentence was sarcastic. (The video of said goal is here and the awesome Nintendo version of the goal is here.)

And while I'm at it, here's a couple from the last two Cups that weren't included in FIFA's survey:

2002: Ronaldinho against England
Some straight-up filthy shit from the goofy Brazilian.

2006: Argentina's Esteban Cambiasso against Serbia [& Montenegro]
Cambiasso scored, but it's really all about Hernan Crespo's ridiculously cool back-tap as the last of 24 passes leading to the goal. So good, Crespo took the time to praise it later. Also, there was more Crespo today, as he tried (successfully, I might add) to take credit for a goal that was clearly scored by the Mexican defense. [Editor's note: Crespo is a total douche, but the commentator's "Whatever" is very nice.]

Finally, the winning goal from Maxi Rodriguez in the Argentina-Mexico match. This one's a bit flukish, but nonetheless amazing. Also, "Maxi Rodriguez" sounds like the name of a (female) teen pop star.