"I Have, John McCain, Injected You With the Minimum Dosage of Poison From the Power of the Ultimate Clinton" (Snarl.)
Tonight all three presidential will appear on WWE's Monday Night Raw in an attempt to appeal to the hot new voting bloc, "the white male":
To the casual wrestling viewer, these quick promos could seem nothing more than the candidates awkwardly spitting out a few wrestling catchphrases or references. But to the seasoned fan, these promos have much deeper meaning and historical context.
Analysis continues below
First, let's look at Barack Obama-- Barack chooses to film his promo in what could be construed as backstage, making you think that at any moment he may burst from behind the curtains and folding chair someone in the head. Of course, the most obvious connection can be made between Obama's "Can You Smell What Barack is Cooking?" to Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, who is also charismatic, also questionably-black, and also really knows how to work a crowd:
Hillary Clinton, however, decides to film her promo in the dimensional rift recently vacated by the Ultimate Warrior (who decided to pursue a teaching career). This is a realm where time means nothing, where experience is paramount, and where psychosis sets in quickly:
Finally, there is John McCain, whose promo set in a teak-lined library sends the message that his free time is spent with historical study of wrestling and reminiscing about the salad days of the sport. Given the opportunity McCain will talk your ear off about how he personally witnessed the win by American Frank Gotch over Georg "The Russian Lion" Hackenschmidt in 19-aught-8, how he actually sired Andre the Giant after a one-night stand with a Romanian giantess, all before trailing off, forgetting where he is and continuing on with a completely unrelated story.